How to Move on From People Who Devastate You
Welcome back everyone — long time no see! I am so happy and grateful now that I am back. I am thankful now that I am alive and well and most important nineteen years old. Last year knocked the wind out of my ***. I discovered I am way stronger than I ever imagined. When I thought I couldn’t weather the storm, I recognized I was the calm throughout. In those still, serene, and sacred moments, I saw the light encapsulating my eyes. For the past year, I witnessed lots of inhibitions and strongholds and disservices collapse before my eyes. Then, I began the process of transmutation and transcendence. The intense, robust pain breached my face, quenched my stomach, and stabbed my heart. Yet, I anticipated a breakthrough as much as the breakdowns that became my regular. So, if you guys are wondering how to move on from the ones who devastate you the most, I’ve got you covered.
In this article, I will expound on the six ways you can move on from the people who hurt you the most to take back your mojo:
- Address Your Feelings
- Fall to Pieces
- Stop Being Super
- Let it Crumble
- Appreciate the Process
- Let’s Begin Anew
Address Your Feelings
Perhaps nothing stifles the human psyche more than one denying its true nature. We can lie to others until we are black and blue in the face yet when we lie to ourselves, we are committing the ultimate sin. Don’t we owe it to ourselves to be as honest and authentic as possible? When is the last time we had a good, profuse sob? Do we remember the feeling of the uninhibited, free, and unfiltered mode of expression? What is the worst that can happen when we open ourselves to the root cause of our suffering?
How do we feel when other people betray us? Why do we berate ourselves for holding ourselves and others to skyscraper expectations? Who is there to pick up the pieces when everyone else leaves us in an uproar, in a chasm of shambles? Do we not like what we see when the light illuminates the darkness shrouding our veil of identity? Are we petrified of the prospect of our traumas resurfacing by reaching out for professional help? What makes us resistant to allowing ourselves to feel with every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears? Can’t we embrace how we feel and love ourselves for our ****** courage?
One of the best perks of addressing your feelings is objectivity. You then see what serves you and what needs to bite the bullet (so to speak). Because of this, you can mourn the tragedies grieving your heart and elevate from the experience. In my experience, this establishes a healthy psychological distance. No matter what, your feelings are VALID. Identification is the first step to recognizing what’s going and how to make amends within and without.
Fall to Pieces
No one has all the answers. If anyone tells you they know everything, please understand they are a sack of **** and proceed by running as far away as possible in the opposite direction. When other people hurt you, allow yourself to fall to pieces and own your vulnerability, your brokenness, your volatility. Again, the same people telling you men don’t cry are the same sons of ******* who are too chicken **** to feel any **** ways. Yes, we are accountable for our actions, including how we respond to ourselves. You shouldn’t have to hide how you feel out of fear of marginalization, rejection, or invalidation. Anybody who does this to you don’t deserve you — you **** sure deserve more than them. Don’t settle for less; know thy worth.
Also, you are a human for a reason. Even though separation is an illusion, you are meant to find the beauty in the sum of your parts and the whole. Yes, you are a fragment of the human race and all that is, yet your contribution matters. Life is whatever you make it and if you need to break, give yourself to space and time to heal. Release the people who hurt you and acknowledge the role they played in your growing pains. SCREAM! SHOUT!! LOSE YOUR ****!!! Indeed, you’re better for it.
Stop Being Super
You cannot save everyone. Matter of factly, some folks don’t wanna be saved. I think most people go wrong because they strive too hard to evangelize everyone to their POV. In the end, this is more counterproductive than not, leading to a bellyache of more friction, less flow. Most important, you can’t be a superhero to the world if you don’t give this gift to yourself first. Everything begins with you, including the decision to put yourself first and stand by your convictions. Let the most devastating experiences transform you into the person you are meant to become. Doesn’t everything happen for a reason?
To clarify, yes, YOU ARE SUPER. Would you rather be super exhausted or super reinvigorated? Choose your friends, family, and acquaintances wisely. Sure, you can’t avoid everyone, but you can invest your time and energy to the best effect – you are precious and invaluable as you are!! We all need boundaries; otherwise, we lose ourselves in everything else outside of our focus. Don’t let energy vampires zap your energy and leave you reeling in the aftermath. They don’t deserve to live their happily ever after as you suffer with the deadening sound of silence. You deserve justice and a reversal of fortune.
Say, “No!” as this is a complete sentence. Try not to beat yourself up when you know you can do better but don’t. You are a work in progress; you must keep this intention at the forefront of your mind. Just admit it; it’s okay to go back to square one.
What’s more super than the breadth and profundity of humanity?
Let it Crumble
Whatever is meant for you is yours. Whatever is not meant for you will perish. I think we only have so much control over what happens so we must learn to be passengers to the experiences. Sure, we can drive all we want, but there are other elements on the road beyond our level of perception. We must trust in ourselves and our ability to adapt to the needs of our environment. Whenever your entire life is up in flames, expect for positive change to extinguish the weight of the past. I believe this is the perfect time to get our affairs in order and uplift the vibe of our homes. The people laughing at you will cry.
Whether you are religious or whatnot, justice will be served. Fight the urge to worry if your oppressors will get their karma. Everything transpires in divine timing. Sometimes we find ourselves best when we are lost in the worst. Aside from learning from other people’s experiences, how else are we to understand what motivates us, what makes us tick? When your mental health is in the valley, you are the most sensitive to the mountain. In other words, the divine enamors you with superhuman strength to weather the storms and defeat all odds. Yes, you are divinity discovering itself underneath the fragmented self.
Let it crumble, then stand tall.
Appreciate the Process
I can’t stress this enough; you are the mountain. Yes, your process consists of bumps and bruises. Keep your eyes on the prize. How? Visualize the end goal and set the intention to manifest this yearning, this heart desire. There is no right or wrong way to appreciate the process; only progress. Also, progress is not a straight line; it encompasses the circle of life.
Thus, it is okay if all doesn’t go as planned. Life is a mess, sometimes a slob, and this is what makes it so darn spectacular. Living is among the most magical of experiences a soul can witness. Immerse yourself in the sensations, then reflect.
Aren’t we here to live life to the fullest and experience more, only to understand the value of less? What is life without pronounced, profound, prolific feeling? How do we grow solid as a rock without devastation, or circumstances leaving us distraught? How do we find light without darkness? Would we appreciate joy and peace if pain and turmoil remained dormant to the development of our character arc? Why look for the finer things in life if we don’t appreciate the finer things inside?
The simplest, quietest moments define us the most. While this bewilders the mind, it allows the heart to fly. Perhaps there is no freedom greater than surrendering to the process and letting old skin shed sans internal conflict. We must love ourselves for going through the fire and coming out brighter and riper on the other side. Appreciate the process, love your progress.
Let’s Begin Anew
Nothing ever ends. No one ever dies. Everything and everyone must begin anew. New beginnings encapsulate the expression of all that is love, liberty, and life. We must adapt and die in the same breath; we will enter new phases and grow into new, foreign, majestic versions of ourselves. What feels better than a fresh, unscathed slate? How would you feel if you cleared your karma records? What is the harm in turning a new page and resetting the narrative in your favor? How lighter will you feel when you embrace weightless shoulders and soar higher than any modern bird?
If there is something I want you to takeaway from this article, it is the following: it’s not your fault.
You are not at fault. You are not to blame for how other people mistreated, devastated, and abused you.
How to move on from the worst catastrophes? You are more than equipped to dismantle every storm. You diffuse the cocktail of emotions by becoming a victor to the experience, emancipating your heart and soul from a lifetime of pain and sorrow.
Essentially, you survived the worst tragedies because you are stronger than the weakness projected your way. Leave the past where it belongs; it doesn’t belong in your present. Ignore the haters — you deserve to have your cake and eat it too. You have and are all you ever need. In the end, moving on is beginning anew and allowing yourself to live in alignment with yourself.
Why not set to intention to learn how to move on from the ones who devastate you, utilizing this to fulfill your life’s purpose?
8 thoughts on “how to move on from people who devastate you – fantastic?!!”
Important subject and very deep. I have often faced something like this, with people who have hurt me.
We all learn to be stronger.
I had a severe depression, I was dying, you all said they collapsed but miraculously I recovered.
We must not despair, as you have often been told.
There is much to learn from this article, it must be repeated and deepened.
Thank you very much for these tips taken from your own experience.
Thank you so much for expounding on your experiences ☺️
This article is perfect for people experiencing a break up or lost someone close to their heart. I know that this article would have come in handy the times I was going through a break up. I will most certainly bookmark this article in case I ever need it one day. Thank you for this article.
Thank you for your openness 😁
Hey, thanks for writing this! I´ve recently broke up with my girl, and to be honest, it is not easy to move on. I tried a lot of things, but did not find the correct way. I will keep in my memories the phrase “address your feelings” cause one tends to look OK at the eyes of the others, but inside, we are broken.
I appreciate your support 🤗
Hi Elijah, I think we need to look at our life as a journey and we need to keep in mind that everyone who’s doing okay now has had moments when they thought they’d never be okay. Embracing self-compassion can be a key ingredient to healing from a breakup. The end of a relationship is not the end of your life. Whether you’re with someone or on your own, no one else can possess your story or your identity.
As we know, practicing mindfulness meditation has been shown to reduce stress. It teaches you to accept your thoughts and feelings without over-identifying and being overwhelmed by them or judging yourself harshly.
In my opinion, mindfulness is an incredible tool to help people understand, tolerate, and deal with emotions in healthy ways.
Thank you so much for your invaluable, enlightened perspective! I love the share.