How to be real about who you are
Who would you be if you didn’t know who you are? What is the difference between who you are supposed to be and who you are meant to be? Why is it that the real world is more fake than what’s real? Accordingly, how to be real about who you are is not as easy as some might imagine.
Believe it or not, to some extent, we all don’t know who we are. Matter of factly, it is possible, if not probable, that we are wrong about a little of everything. Because of this, it is vital to open our eyes, minds, and hearts to this possibility. As such, realness is all about exposing what is inauthentic.
Arguably, nothing shines brighter than an authentic being. That said, how else is one supposed, ahem, meant to emanate accurately with the light embedded in the universe? As you can see, we have layers. Some layers are needed to give our humanity sustenance. Other layers limit, stifle, and restrict us from our true selves.
Essentially, this is why meditation is a crucial component of daily living, daily being. It is such a powerful sensation to observe the present moment sans shame. Accordingly, meditation helps us to be more intelligent, emotionally, and otherwise. As a result, knowing how we operate is key to discovering what makes us dysfunctional.
How to be real about that Subconscious Hacker
After all, the subconscious mind is like a computer program, outdated and otherwise.
Yet, there are always hopes, wishes, and dreams worth manifesting. In other words, it is never too late to shift the narrative; this is not how the story ends. As such, we can be whoever we want to be. All the power lies in our mind, body, and soul. But, the struggle is not losing ourselves in the fake personas we’re convinced are the most real, not to mention how the subconscious mind does not know the difference between fact and fiction.
Nonetheless, concerning how to be real about who you are, one must know that realness is an eternal virtue. Different guises, personas, labels, and clothes fleet – transient by nature. We change all the time. We aren’t the same people we were a mere seconds ago. Consequently, allowing our skin to shed is needed to be real creatures of nature.
Also, realness is synonymous with being on the right path, living life to the fullest, and enjoying the process of enlightenment. Sure, at face value, we feel betrayed. We wake up to the reality society decided to lie to us our entire lives.
“Wake Up Everybody, No More Sleeping in Bed”
But, the truth is waking up to all the ways our sleep dominated our potential, a blessing in disguise. Moreover, we all experience a variety of phases, transitions, seasons, periods, and timelines. Because of this, we are in no rush. We are in no hurry to ascend, elevate, or transcend the flesh; all happens in divine timing.
Want to get real?
It doesn’t matter who you are, who you aren’t, how you identify, and what society wants you to conform to at the expense of your soul. Societal constructs are the antithesis of who we are.
For instance, it doesn’t matter whether we are black or white, straight or gay, cisgender or transgender, rich or poor, young or old, American or foreigner, spiritual or secular, Christian or atheist, smart or dumb, foolish or wise, right or wrong, etc.
As such, we all fall on a spectrum – it isn’t about picking sides and thereby reinforcing division. After all, we must build bridges by letting the walls collapse. In other words, let go of the bricks. Allow the feathers, lightweight indeed, to fall through. Furthermore, our diversity is what unites us, strengthens us, and refines our humanity. Per Marie Curie, there is nothing to fear and everything to understand.
How to be real about owning your personhood
And, that’s what we must understand: everything is an opportunity to be real. There is no point in living life through the eyes of another person. Everyone represents the inborn propensity of uniqueness, specialty, and sexual divinity. Essentially, an organism cannot replicate, reproduce, or recreate another.
Essentially, we must own our personhood, meaning we do not belong to anyone else. We are not anybody else’s property. Indeed, we are the final authority over our lives. Thus, we are all incarnate gods/goddesses of the universe.
Without a doubt, we are one. We are one in more ways than one.
And, if you are queer, minority, or disenfranchised — in any way, shape, or form — you are a superhero. You are a superhero in broad daylight. So, is your realness, authenticity, and highest truths.
As a result, we must capture this light. We must be honest with ourselves if it is the last thing we do, the last thing we become.
Be Different, it’s Normal

We are not what’s wrong with this world; we are what’s right in this world. Moreover, our differences make us beautiful, spectacular, invaluable, great, spirited, vibrant, wealthy, healthy, and ripe with a colorful, wildly idyllic life.
Quite frankly, there is nothing wrong with loving who you are. There is something wrong, however, with people who shame you into being inauthentic.
So, allow your love, light, and wealth of knowledge to shine. There are few things more empowering than seeing other people shine like the diamonds they are. Not because they are brighter, rarer, or more special than us. Not because that diamond of fire is one gazillion light-years away, but because they remind us of who we are in the heart.
To clarify, us vs. them is a non-factor; it doesn’t exist. Yes, we are different, unique, and collectively individual, and yet that’s what makes us so similar. We were born to evolve, mutate, and create a symbiosis with our humane anomalies.
Yes, you read that correctly. We are a spectrum, a rainbow because we are vast, infinite, divine, and incredibly real.
Being Real is Owning Your Transformation
Thus, if you are to question how to be real about your identity, remember the following: you are coming into your own. You are awakening to who you are. Most importantly, you eliminate the fake to accentuate what’s real.
In the end, being real entails being present in the moment. One must embrace the past, present, and future version of themselves. After all, life is a continuum, a collage, a canvas. It’s as though a painter owns all the rights to all works of art and displays them in an art gallery-like a stunning, beautiful aquarium, brimming with wit, soul, passion, and real life.
That said, regardless of gender, love is love. Whoever you are, whatever you like, that’s okay. It’s okedoke. Figuring everything out right now doesn’t need to be a priority. Just let the process unfold, unwind, and unpeel. As such, the more you try to force the envelope, the more likely you are to acquire a paper cut.
In other words, allow the mail to arrive in your P.O. box. Let the contents become visible to you. Be open to the lessons in your life and how they inform your perspective therein.
How to be real about letting go
As you can see, letting go of labels does more good than harm. It doesn’t matter. Being in control of your identity or orientation is letting go of who you think you should be.
It’s not that we are shiny objects by any means, far better. It’s our realness, and what’s more divine, wholesome, and light-emanating than that?!!
At last, we all matter (yet we must reflect this in every way, shape, and form; believing is seeing, however). Black lives matter. Brown lives matter. Gay lives matter. Queer lives matter. Trans lives matter. Muslim lives matter. Agnostic/atheist lives matter. Religious lives matter. Foreigner lives matter. Poor lives matter. Indeed, all disenfranchised lives matter. Furthermore, what society deems our worst weaknesses are a diagnosis of relentless strength.
All of us are stronger, greater, and better together. And, if we set the intention, we will set ourselves free, collectively and otherwise. As such, that’s what real freedom is about: being ourselves and inspiring others to be the same.
Be Willing to be Free
Provided that we don’t always know ourselves, the first step to prioritize is willingness. Without a doubt, this is a significant element of meditation. We must be willing to admit that our habits are our most pertinent downfalls and breakthroughs. We must release the need to know who we think we are supposed to be.
Should doesn’t matter; supposed to doesn’t matter, yet must and meant to matter in the name of realness.
So, continue to ask questions. Continue to be queer. Continue to be the person you are, if not more. Unlock the mysteries of the universe within your soul. As such, keep being a seeker of truth, a lover of beauty, and the embodiment of realness.
In conclusion, you are how to be real about who you are. You are the answer encrypted within an infinite sea of questions.
Why not be more authentic than real life? Why not feel mighty real and learn how to be real about that timeless vibe? Why is being real such a threat to the heteronormative patriarchy in the first place? Finally, why not restore who we were before global amnesia took the world by a storm, only bigger, better, and bolder than we can fathom or know?
I have always wondered why people do so much to not being themselves, but as you said, are living their lives through the eyes of others. In my family alone, I know of two people who are nuisances and horks indoors, but as soon as they are outside change into the most amiable persons you know. It is kind of keeping up appearances. I wonder what it does to you, acting like somebody else all the time.
I fully agree with you to not only discover yourself but also dare to be yourself and keep standing for who you are. This will not be easy, as you will unintentionally antagonize a lot of people. On the flip side, you will have relationships with persons who like you as you are and not with the one you otherwise could pretend to be. The former is real and lasts whilst the latter is flimsy and will end soon.
Real is timeless; fake is transient. Thank you!!!
It’s very hard nowadays for people to be their real selves. Most try to be someone else because our society has programmed us to follow stereotypes. And with so much exposure to celebrities and well known people its a real brainwashing trying to be someone that we really are not. Trying to be real and yourself means that you have to be different, and many people are scared to do that.
Thanks for your wealth of wisdom. That said, we are all just as celebrity as we our different – it just has to be cultivated. What feels richer than bring yourself and owning your light like a boss 💯✨
Hi there, thank you for your thought provoking article on how to be real about who you are. I think we all go through staged in our lives where we question ourselves and have doubts about who we are, what we want, and where we are going to with our lives. The important things is to be true to yourself, and not be somebody that others want you to be, so listen to your inner self.
Exactly, we live for our dreams, yet the catch is finding those dreams underneath the dreams others project for us to believe. That’s what meditation is all about: unpeeling the layers and excavating all the truths in between.
Thanks for sharing this well written, informative and inspirational article with us all here. I have to say that i found this to be very interesting and refreshing. Afterall, we only live once and life is not some sort of dress rehearsal. So, it is important that we live our lives in the best way to mae us happy.
Standing out for your own beliefs is something that not only makes your life happier, but you are also a hero because ou inspire younger people to do the same.
Thank you for your incisive, passionate perspective. Also, I love the part when you say, “life is not some sort of dress rehearsal.” Indeed, being yourself is a superpower.
I normally go with the principle be yourself and do what pleases you and don’t let others criticize you for who you are. Defining your own personality should be freedom and right for each and every person in this world. Society tries to define our paths and values but this is wrong and absurd. I really love your article it breathes new life and ideas in me and a sense of belonging. Love the detail in your content too.
Thank you so much for sharing!! Excellent feedback 😊
Thank you for very interesting article. Its good to see that there are still places in Internet focused on mor important stuff then earning money. I couldn’t agree more that its not easy to be real. We are under pressures of our families, society, coworkers which want us to be in line with their expectations. But to be free we need to be ourselves – unique, different, brave. Its not easy but it’s a journey we all need to choose to be truly happy.
Thank you so much for sharing Cogito!!